I already had a post about moving, so I don't have to explain that again. (But we are gonna do swim team! So, we are probably gonna stay for the rest of the year.)
So the part I need help with. My sophomore year, I got a boyfriend. My first and only. That was March-ish. We dated for about two months. Then we broke up since I was going to be moving. That following September, we missed 3 weeks of school since Minnesota school started later. We had a long-term stay at a hotel. We were getting registered for school. However, they would not let us go to school, because we did not have a permanent residence in Minnesota.
So, we went back to school in Iowa. After missing 3 weeks of school. That make up work was so fun. *sarcasm hand* This is where my problem really starts coming in. People constantly asked "Why haven't you moved?" "Are you gonna move?" etc. Two years of that. >.<
So I have a friend. She is the one who got me and my ex-boyfriend together. She keeps making comments about him. Today, we were partners in a class. And she mentioned him again. She said something about how we broke up 'cause I was moving, but I'm still in town.
So I feel guilty.
When we were dating, he said stuff about how he never "felt like this before" and stuff. I liked him, but I don't have strong feeling about anything (even the dog that bit me. I don't hate it). So either he was exaggerating, or I just didn't feel the same way. But he was a great guy. He wouldn't try to make me do anything I didn't want to do. And he was really sweet.
So do you think I should email Auntie? I've been thinking about doing it, but I wasn't sure how to word it with out being super long... or can all of you help me? Is it ok or bad that I feel guilty about breaking up because of the move...but I haven't actually moved?
Or do you have any comment about any of it?
Au revoir. Je m'en vais.
-Amarantha93
random note: I'm going to a Halloween store. And I get to buy a costume! (I haven't had a costume in about 10 years...) And I get to hand out candy.
Any suggestions for a costume?
hmm, is the ONLY reason you broke up because you were moving? If so, and you're pretty sure you're not moving anymore, then yeah, you're totally fine to get back together! Not all things go according to plan, and apparently your moving was one of them. So, it's explainable. There's nothing to feel bad about there.
ReplyDeleteSometimes guys do take relationships a little bit differently, but the way you explain it, it doesnt sound like you have to be worried about this guy at least. I don't think he's exaggerating, who knows? Maybe having a gf is a new feeling for him too. :) After all, stomache butterflies aren't an easy thing to explain in the first place.
Certainly, if you're not planning on moving again, and if you still really like him, (and it sounds like you do) and he still really likes you, then you totally can get back together again. :)
Dunno. That's my take on it. I'm dressing up as myself for Halloween. Make sure you include Crunch bars in the candy you hand out; they'll make people happy. :D
@sky The problem is that I don't know how I feel about him anymore...like I said, I don't have strong feelings about anything. even him... And he wasn't new to dating. He had like 7 girls friend before me.
ReplyDeleteI don't know If we're gonna be moving...probably not. But either way, I'm planning on going to Minnesota for college next year.
If you don't have strong feelings for him anymore,you should really tell him that.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise he may have some hopes, and it isn't fair to lead him on.Or you can always say that you don't want a relationship...
Amarantha, don't let your friend, who I am sure is just being well-meaning, guilt trip you into something you don't want to do. If you told me that you broke up with him and you were feeling guilty because you were unsure if that was the right thing to do, I'd say, yeah, maybe give him another shot. But that's not what happened. You feel guilty because your friend is making you feel guilty, intentional or not, and that's not fair to you.
ReplyDeleteYour friend's reasoning is that because you broke up because you were moving and the fact that you are no longer moving equals you should start dating him again is too simplistic and, more importantly, is completely taking your feelings out of the equation! (Forgive me for speaking in math terms. Midterms do that to me, even when I am not taking any math classes . . . :D) To be honest, he sounds like a perfectly nice fellow, but if you don't reciprocate his feelings, you do not need to feel compelled to date him. Now, if you like hanging out with him and he wants to hang out with you and you're willing to level with him about your feelings--I like you but I don't like you like that--and he's okay with that, that would be fine. But only if you want to!
I think the problem here is your friend's constant harping on the subject. I think perhaps she feels bad since she set you guys up and you're no longer dating, which is totally understandable but that doesn't make it right for her to constantly bring this up with you and make you feel guilty. Explain to her what you've told us and tell her that you'd appreciate if she'd respect your feelings and wishes, regardless of whether it is to date him or not. That's my take on it, anyway. Good luck! :)
As for Halloween costumes, my fellow English majors and I are planning to dress up as our favorite literary characters, if we get to have our way and raid the theatre department. ^^ Do you have any favorite characters you could go as? ^^
@Gabi I haven't talked to him in about a year...so I don't think I'm leading him on...
ReplyDelete@zella we said we were gonna be friends, even if we didn't start dating again. she doesnt constantly bug me about it. It's just that recently she brought it up(she only says something 2-3 months apart. but over two years, it adds up...), and another friend did less than a week ago, and my mom brought it up recently too...
and I wanted to go as a shadowhunter...don't know which one though...and I don't know if there will even any costumes that would work... I think I'll decide when we get to the store. then I wont be depressed if they don't have what I want...